Ultimately, I need a break. I haven’t felt like updating here in a while. I’m also in the middle of a bad attitude moment. I waffle between happy & look out or I’ll kick your ass. A lot (okay, all) of it has to do with trying to get knocked up. I’ll keep reading & will come back “soon” — don’t want to put a finite date on it; too much PRESSURE, man!

See you all later!

<3,
T

had a melt down this week hours cut at ridiculously expensive gift shop shop owner amazing

best news of weekend : no layoffs!!!!!!!!

that’s it for now.promus a real update soon

I can’t believe I am up so early today . it has been incredibly hot in the apartment and I can’t sleep . I actually slept on the couch last night in order to become . I tried going to sleep after I took the dog out this morning at 530 but I couldn’t get back to sleep because I was so hot . I even move back to the couch but it didn’t work so I was up when matt left for work this morning . it’s sad that it’s almost 830 and I want to take a nap .

we had a very busy but fun and relaxing sword of weekend . on saturday we went to a barbecue and pool party weed n play poker in the evening . we were with the usual poker rules minus a couple people namely mama bear and jc . they did julius later but in all honesty I didn’t miss them during the day . the pool party part was fun to play volleyball and it was a little difficult because nobody could stand up in the deep end so everyone in the shell and always 1 .on sunday we went up to mom sees to do some farm work . map of death chained to the tractor and pulled out too small shrubs and mom see and I got to work on her lily pad . for the first time in a couple of years you can actually see into the lilypad there still lot of work left to be done on it but we made a great start . we also cleared out in the flower bed in front of the family room windows mom c trim back for forsythia bush which was over taking the pathway gone to the front porch . it looks pretty sad now that it’s cut way back but it will bounce back soon . we also cleared brush around the living room windows it to was overthrown . the windows are east facing so late living room gets a lot of sunlight in the morning . until now it was kind of dark in there because of all the overgrowth that now that wasn’t all done you can see clearly into the field . my muscles hurt from pulling out these plants that look like bamboo but arts and I have some cuts on my hands as well from plants ever stubborn . wow that was just the tip of the iceberg of things that need to be done around the farm it felt good to get so much done on sunday .

today I need to find the energy to clean out the closet and take care of laundry we have a lot of fold laundry bags that need to be put away and I still have to figure out where the heck I’m going to put all of these clothes . I have a feeling that I will have a lot more bags to take to goodwill this time that I did the last . I also need to print the good will cheat sheet so that way I know how much are closing costs when I do taxes next year . I may just tape inside the closet for that way I don’t have to upload to see every time . I hate to admit this but I still haven’t reserved my wedding dress yet is sitting in it garment bag in the closet and I have a box that I bought from davids bridal who played in but I haven’t yet to send it out . its under there somewhere I know it . hopefully it hasn’t offered any damage in the almost years that it has been in the closet .

I hope I will experiment in voice to text has been a success or at least a marginal 1 . color me lazy I didn’t want to turn the computer on this morning and type all of this house is much easier to say here and say everything there is to try to type it . of course voice to text isn’t always perfect so who knows what kind of things I have actually said . oh well at least I was entertaining right ?

I won’t bemoan my money situation, mostly because there’s nothing to bemoan. Meaning: I have none. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Goose egg. Game over. I’m oddly zen over the whole thing. No idea how to pay bills or anything, but what am I going to do? I work as many hours as I can, I pay what I can when I can. No sense getting too worked up about it all.

Anyway.

The long weekend was lovely, even though I had to work yesterday. I worked Friday, and don’t really remember what we did Friday night. Saturday we spent time with Bri and his wife playing mini golf (in which I got burnt to a crisp) and saw Super 8. We had friends up to the farm on Sunday for a BBQ and to light stuff on fire. We played Kan Jam (read all about it here) and there was much teasing. Last night we took a bucket of KFC up to the overlook to watch fireworks from at least 3 major cities and a bunch of novices with Mom C and D Savvy. All in all, a very relaxing holiday.

We woke up to a bizarre infestation of maggots in the kitchen. Still no idea where they came from. I plan on being Suzy Homemaker for part of today and taking Toots for a long walk. Then it’s work, work all week long, punching that clock from dusk till dawn. 

I’m running behind this a.m. I actually have to work today — imagine that! — so you’re getting shorted on an entry twice in a row. I’ll make up for it next week (or tomorrow if I feel like it).

But my car died on the Northway last night, was towed to our mechanic’s, and there’s a good chance the fuel pump is toast. I have a negative bank balance because I HAVE NO MONEY and my parents may not be willing to pay for the repairs on the car OR help me finance a new one should that seem like the better option.

Anyone wanna trade lives for a little while? Pretty please??

Otherwise… I’m broker than a… ::fill in your favorite metaphor here::. All my school money has gone the way of the buffalo and my store money is getting eaten up by bills and overdraft fees — because I’m an effin’ rockstar and, silly me, think that gas for my car and groceries are important things to have. I just called The Ridiculously Expensive Gift Shop to talk to the lady who does our schedules, but the phones up in the office are wonky and she’ll either call me back today (pshh… I’m sure) or I’ll see her tomorrow.

I’m here to tell y’all, in no uncertain terms, it is  nearly impossible to get by on $170 a week when you’re over $10k in debt. There… I said it. All my credit cards are close to being maxed. I have some loose change in my cup holders, in my wristlet’s change pocket, and a winning smile. That’s it.

MB just got word that layoffs begin July 15…

… and the tenant’s waterheater just shit the bed…

… right after MB bought disc harrows for the tractor…

… my car inspection and an oil change is due…

… we have very little groceries in the house…

… MB’s bills are still stupid, just like mine…

… and it’s only June…

… FML.

The title of this blog is brought to you by one of my favorite Blink 182 songs — Wendy Clear (let’s see if I can get this to post):

I think I’ve finally found a ttc board that I really like. I’ve been following four before finding the new one this morning. Here’s my analysis:

• Board #1: at iVillage. Nice enough girls/women. Some already have at least one. Most have huge infertility issues or focus a lot on infertility. I don’t see myself as having infertility problems so much as really shitty luck thus far. I stick around for the moral support.
• Board #2: also at iVillage. Again, nice enough girls/women. They don’t post much beyond monthly roll calls in the section I follow. May drop this board.
• Board #3: at Baby Center. I just skim through post titles because most are whining about AF or BFN or the 2ww (sorry for so many foreign acronyms; comes with the territory). I may drop this board.
• Board #4: also at Baby Center. Again with the skimming and the whining. I dropped that board today like a bad habit.
• Board #5: again, also at Baby Center. This is the one I just joined. It’s a private group, invite only, and it’s relatively new. Less than 20 members. NO WHINING. This group is specifically for women in their 30s ttc. No more 21 year olds frustrated they can’t ttc #3. Found me a keeper!

The whole ttc thing is such an energy drain, mentally more than physically. I keep waiting, hoping for the day I’ll open this little white box and say, “Bingo! It’s baby time!” Maybe June will be our month. I’m getting into the idea of having a St. Pat’s baby It would be fitting, seeing as how MB is ridiculously proud of his Irishness.

Last week snuck right by me. In all honesty, I slept in and then haven’t been in front of the idiot box ever since. My new phone is keeping me from my poor computer, especially since it can do pretty much everything only faster. The only reason I haven’t updated here with the phone is using the touchscreen to type an entry sounds a bit insane to me.

In bullets:

• Looks like 3 days/week it is at The Ridiculously Expensive Gift Shop. It’s been nice reconnecting with some of the girls/ladies I haven’t seen in a while. It was s-l-o-w yesterday, so we got to socialize far more than we should have. I’ll have to remember today to look productive.
• We went to my grandmother’s 80th birthday party on Sunday. I finally got to meet my 10 month old nephew, who is even more handsome in person than he is in his pictures. I made BroCuz3 promise to send me more pictures so I can drool over.
• We helped a friend move on Saturday. It was easily a zillion degrees, and she moved from one second floor apartment to another, but it was worth it. I had a mild breakdown that morning: Artie was supposed to go halves with MB on a moving truck and it was all supposed to be arranged during the week. At 7 a.m., I was calling rental places and MB and I footed the bill for the truck. I swore all the way to our friend’s old apartment. I really hope Artie reimburses MB today, otherwise I am going to shit a brick.
• I got the results back from my PAP and ultrasound the other day. Totally healthy. Huzzah! Now, about this baby thing…

I think that’s everything. I’ll try to update regularly from now on. I’ve missed it

“Mrs. Ter, how come my grade is so low? I mean, I didn’t do squat all semester, but a D is a bit harsh eh?”

– No, it’s called “accurate”.

“Mrs. Ter, I turned in Assignments X, Y, and Z and got 100s on them. How come I failed?”

– Because you didn’t turn in Assignments A, B, and C, and failed Assignments L, M, and O.

“Mrs. Ter, how come you didn’t answer the eleventy billion e-mails I’ve sent in the last 48 hours?”

– Because I want to be finished with this semester as much as you, sweetpea, and nagging me to grade something and then nagging me to answer you back makes me want to jump off the Patroon Island Bridge.

“Mrs. Ter, I turned in Assignment K and my overall average is a B. I thought you saw Assignment K in the huge Pile O’ Stuff I gave you and I’m transferring to another school and would like a B+.”

– Good for you on the transfer. Sucks to be you because you never turned in Assignment K when I asked for it. A B is a perfectly transferable grade. Get over yourself.

And on… and on… and on…

I should be at The Ridiculously Expensive Gift Shop right now selling overpriced stuff to people that can actually afford it, but apparently they have enough staff today. I went in after dropping my final grades off, ready to while away 7 hours of my life, and for some reason felt compelled to check the schedule to see if I was on it or not. I am for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but not today. One of the girls paged the schedule person, who said they’re okay today and go home. Ooookaaaay… A bit annoying, as TREGS is my only meal ticket all summer, but I think I can survive on three days/week.

I think. I hope. I’d better!

Meanwhile, my new cell phone came the other day, and poor MB has lost his wife. I got a Droid Incredible 2 and it is… well… incredible! A friend of ours is on MB’s permanent hit list, as he told me about the Angry Birds app… and now I’m hooked!

On Friday I had a dr. appointment. The long and the short of it is: I’m healthy… and apparently an inch taller than I’ve believed. The NP said that the girl bits are healthy and, pending a no-call about my PAP, I should be good to go. I asked her about my uterus possibly being tipped; she said it is slightly forward but not to worry. I have an appointment this Friday morning (uber-early, lucky me) for an ultrasound to make sure everything inside looks the way it’s supposed to.

It’s a bit of a relief to know I’m in good health. The NP thinks that moving into summer, both MB and I will be more relaxed than we were during the school year (gee, ya think?) and if there’s no baby by August, we’ll talk about options.

Since it’s rainy and gray today, I’m taking the surprise day off to clean up around here. Feels good to be productive!